2012 Highlights...

Well, 2012 is behind us. My first, knee-jerk reaction was THANK GOODNESS!! Then I started thinking about things that happened this year and realized it was a good year for the most part. My attitude was just awful most of the time.

In January, the company where I work had their employee appreciation/awards banquet. I was HONORED to be one of six employees nominated for Employee of the Year (out of ~200 employees). This recognition really touched me. My husband reminds me constantly - Not everyone works for great companies that really value their employees. I'm fortunate to have found this one. Later in the year, the company ranked #2 in top, mid-sized companies to work for in Austin! That is so awesome!

Jon's birthday was a quiet celebration at home with Shelby, Mom and Jon's parents. He prefers it that way. He's not one for attention and a sure, fire way to get a divorce petition is to embarrass him for his birthday in public! I know better! :-)

In April, I moved into my new and current position as a Product Marketing Manager. I was partially doing the job already but this little "promotion" made it official. I am really enjoying my work and in October, I got moved into the Marketing department so I now get the opportunity to dabble in that a little as well. It is a small department so we all wear a lot of hats and we have a great creative team. We are coming up with such wonderful ideas and I look forward to seeing them come to fruition in 2013... This is a great growing experience for me in many ways.

Since moving into the larger home with larger expenses, money has been extremely tight so we had never really been on a family vacation. In May, we decided to go to North Padre Island. It was Shelby's first trip to a beach and she LOVED it. She giggled and screamed the whole time. Digging in the sand was her favorite and we found sand in every crack and crevice on her little body. It was a blast and something I hope we can do in 2013. It was at the end of this little mini-vacation that we decided to save and budget so we could afford a REAL family vacation later in the year. More to come on that!

Near the end of May, Jon headed to Seattle for a gaming convention and I headed to Charlotte, North Carolina to visit a friend of mine for a long weekend. To say I fell in love with North Carolina would be an understatement. The weather, the terrain, the flora/fauna and most of all... the Farmer's Market. :-) I've never seen such an array of color and yumminess in all my life! It was nice to get away and have some girl time with my friend. I hope to do that again in 2013 as well.

In June, Shelby started a new school. We had heard a lot of positive things about the Montessori schools and there is one in our town we had visited and liked. Shelby seems to really love her teachers and friends. It is taking some adjustment, as her old school was a little unorganized and unruly. This has a lot more structure and we've noticed some improved focus on her part.

September marked my 45th birthday and I decided I wanted to spend it with my "BFF since 1976", Tammy. Her birthday is a day after mine and we had celebrated so many birthdays together as children, it made sense that we do it now. So Jon and I took a long weekend and went up to Arlington. We had dinner with Tammy and her awesome husband that night and then headed over to Tammy's mother's house. Her mom had cupcakes and a wonderful little celebration planned for us birthday girls. I can't describe how much her thoughtfulness meant to me. The following day, Jon and I took off and went to both The Ballpark in Arlington (where the Rangers play) and visited the new Cowboy stadium. We also took a trip to my childhood favorite - Don Juan's Romantic Mexican Food! After Tammy got off work, we all headed to Allen, Texas and got ready for the Hall & Oates concert! I haven't been to a concert in YEARS (I'm thinking double-digit years here folks...). Tammy and I went to a Hall & Oates concert together when I was in high school so again, fitting that we do it again together to celebrate our collective birthdays! That time spent with Tammy, reminiscing about the past and making new memories, is something I will cherish forever. Her friendship means more to me than I probably express. I hope we can have more times like this in the future!

Shelby's 4th birthday was in October. I can't believe she is already four. She has such a wonderful and joyful personality. She loves dancing, singing and any type of music. She has a bit of a temper (I don't know where she got that from!) and she is very headstrong (again, WHERE did that come from?). She plays restaurant in her room, taking our order and bringing our food. Shelby has a love for Barbies (which pleases me like crazy). We play princess and dress up. Right now she is on a Cinderella kick. She brings a certain joy to my life I never imagined in my wildest dreams. When I look at her, I know why I am on this earth... I love her to the moon and back.

This past November, Jon and I celebrated our five year anniversary! WOW! That is the longest either one of us has been married. We both have very strong personalities and were pretty set in our ways when we met. During the past 5 years, we have had our share of bumps in the road but we have grown stronger together and become more of a united front. I mean, seriously, the guy lives with his mother-in-law... and a manipulative one at that. He's really put up with a lot and he's stuck by my side, supporting me, hearing me bitch and being my best friend. I couldn't ask for anything more than that. I'm blessed.

Now earlier I mentioned a REAL family vacation - We scrimped and saved up for a... Disney cruise! We took a 7- day cruise out of Galveston. Our ports were Grand Cayman, Costa Maya, and Cozumel. Jon had never been on a cruise before and of course, Shelby hadn't either. To see her face and hear her giggles when she saw all the characters was repayment enough for any sacrifices we made to save up. I've been on a couple of cruises in the past and I can honestly say that I don't think I'll ever go on a different cruise line ever again! Disney is top notch. The service... The food... The accommodations. Amazing. This was the best vacation (other than our honeymoon) that I've ever had. It is hard to describe in words how wonderful it was. Shelby got sick near the end and the staff was so accommodating to help us and make sure we had what we needed. Honestly, the whole experience warrants it's own post! We were SO pleased that we went ahead and booked a cruise for 2013! We are already counting the days until we take that next trip!

The holidays were nice... They seemed to come more quickly this year for some reason.

2012 was good. We had a lot of firsts (beach trip, cruise, etc.). We stepped back and assessed our situation. We've made some serious decisions about our future, both short term and long term and 2013 will be the year to start acting on some of those plans. 2012 was very, very stressful for me... balancing the finances so that we could start putting our family first was hard on me. For the past 3+ years, it seems like we have lived our life "on hold". Essentially we are paying for my mom to be retired (because she did not plan on her own). We have a lot more expenses and each month, seem to just.get.by. The result has been that we aren't putting away any money for our own retirement or Shelby's college. I've felt a lot of stress realizing that, if we continue down this path, I will have to tell Shelby when she is 18 "Sorry, honey, we couldn't save for your college because we had to support your Grandmommy... and even though you can't go to college, get a degree and a good job, we didn't save for retirement either." I don't want to put her in the position we are in right now.

Even though I love my husband and daughter more than I ever imagined, I haven't wanted to come home from work. I've somewhat isolated myself from my friends. My mother's manipulating ways have worn on me. Her drama is overwhelming. It weighs heavily on me and consumes me. I'm depressed a lot. I lose my temper easily and get extremely frustrated. At times, I don't recognize who I am. She's hinted in many not-so-subtle ways that she thinks I'm "moody" because I'm going through the change. No. I'm moody because the everyday stress of having my mother live with my family is wearing on me in ways she can't even imagine. I'm not healthy. I've gained weight. I'm not happy. And honestly, I want my life back.

2013 will be the year of change. I am taking back my life... our life. My husband and daughter deserve me to be the best I can be... I deserve to have the best life I can. We all deserve to be happy and healthy so we can enjoy life together for years to come. I have hit the wall and can no longer live this way. It is time for new beginnings and changes. It is time to no longer keep myself away from my friends and the people that love me. So... no more crappy attitude! I'm not going to be manipulated any longer. I will be strong and above all, be true to myself and my family! This has been a learning experience and I'm a better person for having gone through it all. It's time to move forward.